Making a choice is not an isolated action. It is always a decision in relation to something else. We cannot say that something is “close”, “better” or “worth it” without first understanding what it is close, better than or worth in comparison to.
Our choices are formed in this invisible network of relationships between ourselves, our values, our knowledge and our world.
Selection requires a place to stand on
To be able to choose, we need to know where we stand. A decision that feels difficult is often not difficult because the alternatives are complicated in itself, but because we lack something to relate to them. We may not know what we really want, what we believe in, or what means something to us. Then the choice is perceived as irrelevant or arbitrary.
When someone is facing a decision to change jobs or move, it is easy to weigh practical factors: salary, commuting time, number of square meters. But often the difficulty is not there. It lies in what we feel we give up. A home we format over time, relationships that feel habits or an identity linked to a place. It is the feelings behind our frame of reference that make some decisions so loaded.
Creative exploration as a path to clarity
Here, creativity becomes a way to explore and structure our choices. Anyone who uses creative methods, such as sketching scenarios, writing a diary or creating mind maps, can more easily identify what actually matters. By visualizing, combining and turning perspective, we build meaning in what was first unclear. Creativity not only helps us find more options, but also to understand why one alternative feels more right than another.
Decision in a sustainability context
A clear example of how relationship affects our decisions is in sustainability. A person who knows nothing about environmental issues has no reference points and is likely to make decisions based on other factors: convenience, price or habit. Anyone who has learned a little about sustainability can make more thoughtful choices, as long as it is simple. Organic tomatoes, recycled bags or choosing trains over flights. But those who are deeply familiar with sustainability issues often encounter another type of difficulty: the choice becomes more complex.
The knowledgeable person sees the context. Know that a vegan product may also have been transported over half the soil. Understand that recycling sometimes poses social or economic challenges. They see that each decision is part of a larger system and wants to make a decision that lasts in the long run. Therefore, the choice can feel paralyzing. It is not to want to choose the right that is the problem, but to know what is right when so many variables come into play.
Selection that carries meaning
When we understand this, it becomes clear that the choice itself is not central. It is the relationship with something that matters to us that makes the choice meaningful. Choosing to stop flying is not about abstaining convenience, but about strengthening one’s identity as responsibility. Choosing to stay in a small home can be about feeling rooted, not about avoiding moving boxes.
Therefore, we should not only ask “what should I choose?”, But also “What does this choice mean in relation to what I care about?”. When we formulate that relationship clearly, the decision often becomes much easier.
To navigate with relationship as compass
We often believe that more information makes it easier to choose. In fact, it is about what kind of information helps us to understand the relationship between the decision and what we value. It is when we see the context that a choice goes from being difficult to being obvious. Making decisions is basically not about weighing right or wrong, but about building an understanding of what relationships are important to us.
Creativity, curiosity and self -insight thus not only become aids for better choices, but to be able to choose with meaning at all.
